Growing up, almost all of us could not wait to be adults. It was like, “I can’t wait to be grown, living in my own apartment, doing whatever I want to do,” and things like that. We believed adulthood was ultimate freedom, ignorant of all the other things being an adult meant.
Personally, I thought the hardest thing about being an adult was having to work long hours. I always told myself it was no big deal, that I could deal with it. I was determined to have so much fun, because to the childhood me, adulthood was about having loads of fun without taking permission from your parents.
Some people say adulthood starts at 18, and others believe it starts from the age of 21. But, really, did everyone become an adult at 18 or 21?
The truth is, there is no specific age when one becomes an adult. Some people become adults as early as 17 or younger, because of the experiences they’ve had or situations they found themselves in. Take for instance a child who lost their parent at an early age, leaving younger ones in their care. That child is forced to be an adult early in life. On the other hand, some people are still children until they are 25.
For me, being an adult started between the period of my graduation from the university and moving out. It wasn’t the fact that I graduated or moved out (P.S I still don’t have my own apartment), that made me an adult, but the experiences, lessons and my growth as a result of these things. I had friends who were already mature from university days, but I, on the other hand, was naïve until I experienced the things I am experiencing now.
My first instance of adulthood came when I had to make decisions. Decisions that didn’t exactly involve what was right or wrong, but what was best for you and your future. In other words, I had to decide between good options; I had to choose the one that was going to make my future. The worst part was even after I had made the decision, I had no way to tell if I had made the right choice.
The thing about making these decisions is that the important people in your life would have made their own decisions for you, forgetting you are now an adult. Making these decisions requires you to remove all sentiments. It is yours to make and nobody else. Realizing that because someone you look up to made a certain decision and it worked out for them doesn’t mean it will be the same for you. The greatest lesson I learned from this experience is that, regardless of what others say and what they are doing, you are a grown adult and you always have to do and choose what is best for you.
One interesting thing about adulthood is, as you’re rounding up a major experience or solving a major problem, another one comes. After the decision I made, disappointments kept coming back to back. I knew within me that I had made the decision that was best for me but why was I experiencing disappointments when I had everything planned out? I had to come to terms with the reality that the plans I had mapped out for myself weren’t the route life was going to take me through to get to where I am going to. As painful as it is, it is something we all have to accept. Picking ourselves up after every disappointment and focusing mainly on where we are headed.
Another major problem I had and I am still struggling with, is letting go of the baggage that came with childhood. Some people, like me, had a lot of baggage growing up. The things we went through have some effect on us but they don’t have to determine who we turn out to be. Whatever happened in our childhood should remain there. Carrying over childhood baggage into your adulthood will only ruin things. Being an adult comes with the power that allows you to be in charge of what experiences make you who you are.
Adulthood will make you realize that you, and not the person you look up to, or your parents, are responsible for what happens to you. You realize that disappointments are a part of life and you have to keep moving, no matter what happens. As an adult you will breakdown, you will cry, and all these things are okay. What is not acceptable is stopping. You can take a break but you cannot afford to stop or give up. You have to keep making progress. Someone once said, The situation around you might not get better but you will. To me, this sums up being an adult, you have to keep getting better for things to get better for you.
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